Happy May Long Weekend Sunday! I'm so grateful for this long weekend every year, and I'm equally happy (especially this year) that May Long Weekend always brings crummy weather. I sound like a debbie-downer. But having a weekend to decompress, to come down from a crazy season and crazy week, and to complete some home errands and just be is too on the nose right now. It's been perfect.

The rest of the week wasn't perfect, though. Our local community lost a leader this week. Pretty suddenly, too. In some ways he was a mentor and I learned a lot from the man over the last six months. It can be so jarring, working with someone very closely only to have them gone forever, instantly.

But such is also the beauty and splendor of believing in a spiritual world governed by the greatest King. This community leader — he fought his fight, he ran his race, and the Lord Almighty said it was time. There is such an intense beauty in knowing we are not our own, but His.

Andor. Oh, Andor. This is easily the pinnacle of Disney Star Wars. This show had some stunning highs (the jailbreak) and gutting lows (the Ghorman massacre) and built out a story unlike any other in the Star Wars universe.

I appreciate the way Tony Gilroy started the show on a small planet with a small plot with small-time characters. Inside each episode, the plot grew bigger, the characters more complex, and the connection to the grander universe more elaborate. The genius of this small-to-large storytelling worked in spades with Andor, even if things may have felt somewhat rushed in the back half of the second season.

I also appreciate how this changes the entire Rogue One film. Not in meaningful Star Wars lore ways, but in how you view the Rogue One characters. After watching 24 episodes of Cassian Andor and seeing how he found himself at the very center of the Rebel Alliance, Cassian quickly feels like the main character of Rogue One. A young, confident Jyn Erso almost feels out of place, as she oddly swoops in from nowhere and has opinions about things she has no clue about. Or the stunning Empirical chain of command, where a daunting Meero is manipulated by Partagaz, who is bullied by Krennic, who is belittled by Tarkin, who all pale in comparison to the great Lord Vader, and who still takes his orders from someone more evil.

Andor is an absolute triumph in the Star Wars universe. The show acts as proof that Disney has not lost the entire plot. Tony Gilroy's precision and skill needs to be put into other Star Wars projects, pronto.

It's ok to sometimes feel miserable as a parent

It's totally OK to feel miserable as a parent! Hallelujah, someone willing to be honest with the rest of the world!

But let me posit why I feel parents aren't allowed to feel miserable as a parent.

I personally believe there is a deep-seeded fear — and a growing, deep-seeded fear — that choosing to have children will end up looking like the wrong decision. That in the course of life, where everyone is striving for personal happiness, satisfaction, and self-realization, that children won't end up adding to that personal happiness. That any individual blip in the child-rearing radar acts as proof to yourself, your friends, or your extended family, that maybe you shouldn't have had children. Or that your momentary lapse in a perfect life will be viewed by friends or family who are on the fence about having children, or that you might receive the dreaded "This is exactly why we're not having kids" comment.

I could be wrong. I'd be happy to be wrong.

But then, if I was completely wrong, why don't more people discuss the difficulties of parenthood instead of glossing over those difficulties? Why do people jump to the "It's totally worth it" comment instantly, in every conversation about our own humanity?

Those difficulties are worth it, of course. But this is so far from the point.

Parenting is friggen hard. It's borderline impossible. There's no handbook. There's no guide. (Well, there is.) There's no one-size-fits-all, and any advice you get has, at best, a 50% chance of working. And you have to somehow execute this on half your normal amount of sleep, under the pressure of a world telling you you're feeding your children wrong, changing them wrong, and teaching them wrong.

My girls are now 7, 5, and 3 years of age, and it's only now starting to feel like we're seeing a reward for our years of persistence and discipline. I genuinely disliked my first 3 or 4 years of being a father — I lost every element of my childhood that I found fun and enjoyable, my body changed and was more difficult to feel in good condition, and the pressure of putting food on the table each day soared through the roof. It took 5 full years for Josh to lose himself and focus on what matters most.

I'm either now leaving that stage of life, or I'm experiencing the fruits of getting through that stage of life. Parenting is finally fun. I'm more excited than ever to get home after a hard day of work. I'm enjoying getting out into the world and seeing these girls thrive in public.

There were miserable years, though. And I wish I was allowed to speak about those miserable years without being made to feel like an awful, awful person.

The Second Cup

Timelapseworlds on Instagram

The patience needing to be shown to take the shot, thousands of times, to build out a short Instagram video like this? Something I am incapable of, and stand in awe of.

The Hardest Working Font in Manhattan

New York City always leads the way on fun things like this.

Andor Season 2 Review

More Andor, this time from Star Wars Explained. I find it interesting where I sit on the scale of "love" for Andor and how I relate to Star Wars Youtubers like Star Wars Explained. I've long agreed with most of Star Wars Theory's takes on Disney Star Wars (pro-Clone Wars, anti-Acolyte), but I'm much more in line with the rest of the Youtube community when it comes to Andor.

Paige Clothing

I was speaking with a friend this week about my favourite pants brands and Paige ranks right at the top. Paige denim hardly feels like denim. It fits comfortably and elastically. And the choice of colours and styles are excellent. Paying $300 CAD for a pair of pants is a bit much, so I tend to look for these when on sale. Either way, if you're looking for a new pair of pants, don't hesitate to take a look at a pair of Paige jeans.

Happy Sunday. I hope you have a wonderful week ahead.