Craig Grannell must be auditioning for The Onion:

Analysts reacted positively to Cook’s statement, noting that while, in the short term, Apple shutting down entirely was not a positive step, it would finally provide plenty of room for meteoric growth should the company decide to reopen again at some point in the future. In after-hours trading, AAPL was up 37 per cent.

I don’t understand how analysts, like the ones at Reuters, can find work.[1]

Why do stocks slide when reports show record breaking revenue and record breaking profit? Despite my schooling, I have yet to understand this.

I’ll bet the best analysts have been scooped up by Apple and the rest of the market has to suffer the unwanted. ↩